It's easy to get stuck in life. We work hard, we relax, but then we wake up one day and wonder if we are happy. Is this what we wanted in life? Are we living life to the fullest? Do we need to change course, reevaluate, or maybe completely stop everything we are doing and do something totally different?
There are hard seasons in life. If we stick it out, put our heads down and work hard, will things get better? Or is there more - more that we could have if we made changes?
If you're like me, in hard or uncertain times I tend to feel restless. I get the itch to change my life - sell everything and start over in some far away place. Annnnd if you're like me and have little people you're responsible for, that's easier dreamed about than done.
I think it's good to reevaluate, to check the way you're living with the life you want to live. I've often found myself needing to make changes and be more intentional both in my life and in my parenting. I found myself spending too much time tidying a perpetually messy house and decided I needed to massively declutter. I wanted to spend more time with my children and introduce them to poetry, and so first I reserved from the library, and then I bought "Sing a Song of Seasons" and we read one poem each morning together while I drank my coffee.
Seasons and stages change constantly, your needs and that of your family change constantly, so it's important to be intentional and constantly checking your habits and your space to see what is working and what could be improved.
A method I've found very helpful to keep me on track is creating a pinterest board. You don't have to use pinterest, you can create a list physical vision board or a folder of images on your phone or computer or whatever method works well for you. But I used Pinterest. I created 2 boards - one of what my ideal life will look like in 5 years, and one of what I imagine my ideal life to be in 10 years. Of course all of this could change and is hypothetical but it gives me a good starting point. Be as detailed as possible. I added images to reflect where I'd like to have traveled to, how I'd like to dress, the kind of diet I'd like to have, the way I'd like my house to look. Really spend some time thinking about it and come back to it as you think of more and more details surrounding your best life 5 or 10 years from now. This isn't an exercise you will neccesarily complete as you'll come back to it again and can add things over time. I love having this visual to refer back to. Seeing my ideal life represented is very helpful in letting me compare it to my current life and determine the steps I need to take - even baby steps - towards acheiving that goal life. If I currently don't work out at all but on my board for 5 years from now I want to be running a half marathon, I need to start upping my steps or jogging a few times a week. As I refer back again later I might see that while I'm jogging here and there, I should sign up for and begin training for a 5k. Having a visual is helpful to me so I can see where I want to be and decide how I'm going to get there.
Sometimes, though, there are things that are outside your control, that seem to big or overwhelming or impossible to change. It's not how you wanted your life to be and it's not how you want your life to be either - and yet you can't see a way around it no matter how you refer to your vision boards or try to brainstorm alternatives. It's the life that's in front of you and the only path is through it. I recently had this realization as I was desperately grasping at ways to create the life I wanted - after all, isn't that what I talk about all the time? Helping other moms to be able to live the life they want to live? So what am I doing wrong? Why is it that I'm not living the life I want to live? What do I need to change, what can I reevaluate to create the life that I WANT TO LIVE? That's when it hit me, even though it's something I've known. We may not always be able to change our circumstances or immediately create the life we want to live. But I CAN change my perspective.
I may not be able to have my dream job right now or acheive all my goals, but if I can't, I don't want to be super unhappy about it all the time. Looking for ways to change my life was good, but it can't be all I do. I don't want to live a life where in addition to the circumstances not being ideal I'm constantly complaining and unhappy. I need to find ways to be content and enjoy things about the life I have. Even if they are really small things. Like the sun coming up, or a crocus finally blooming after a long winter. A quick hug from my toddler after a long day of work. A clean counter after spending the day catching up on dishes from the week and cleaning the kitchen. Creating the life you want isn't always changing your life circumstances. Sometimes it's creating a mindset around the life circumstances you have of joy, hope and contentment. There will always be something to improve even if you have your perfect, ideal dream life. So right now? I'm going to take the time to learn to be content with my imperfect, messy, real life.
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